Happiness expert and successful author Dominique Bertolucci said that there isn’t much of a secret when it comes to self-confidence. You only need to be committed to treating yourself using the same kindness that you are showing to other people.
Bertolucci has written in her book The Kindness Pact that being compassionate to yourself is the key to feeling good as to who you really are and the life you’re living. This really makes sense as you would notice that having too much negative thoughts could affect your confidence but still a lot of women still fall for the same thing.
In order for you to easily remember how to be good to yourself, Bertolucci’s book has 7 promises every woman should make to herself for a happier life. These could also be a great advice that you could share to your friends.
7 Promises Every Woman Should Make to Herself for a Happier
Never compare yourself
Tell yourself that there is no reason to see yourself as more or less than others.
By comparing yourself to other, may it be your neighbors, celebrities or TV personalities, you would surely feel inadequate. Even if you think that you are much better than they are, it will only give a short-term boost on your self-esteem.
If you stop comparing yourself to other people, you only need to impress yourself. You can get your confidence from within you and it would no longer be affected by what others say, do, or have.
Do not make excuses
Tell yourself to take full responsibility for who you are and the life you lead.
No matter how it appears to be, nobody has a perfect life. The thing that makes some people to be better than others is that they are living their best life. If you are not living your best life then you have to take a closer look not only on the things that are getting in your way but also on the reasons why you are letting them.
If you stop making all those excuses and begin to take responsibility, you can enjoy the things which are great about your life while having no thoughts on what you need to change about it.
Learn to love yourself
Learn to treat yourself with love and respect.
If you like to feel good about who you are and with the life you live then you should give a high priority on being confident and on believing on yourself.
Learn to love yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and respect as you treat your closest friend, understand and forgive your failures and most of all, be kind to yourself the same manner as you are with the most important people in your life.
Accept all your imperfections
Tell yourself that you are perfect even with all your imperfections.
There is no such thing as being perfect yet there are a lot of people who would do everything in order to reach that. If you learn to accept your imperfections, you will be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. You will be able to acknowledge that, just like other people, you also have positive qualities but you also have those less positive qualities and that’s okay.
When you released yourself from the burdens of perfection and accepted your imperfections, you can be free to use your positive qualities to the fullest. You could decide on which of those less positive qualities that you will like to devote your energy on improving and which of those qualities that everyone else will have to accept as part of the package.
Teach yourself to be brave and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.
Being confident and believing in yourself are just like the muscles of your body. It needs exercise so that it will grow stronger. When you are challenging yourself, you are saying to your subconscious that you believe in yourself and that you have the willingness to back yourself up in every circumstances and situations that come your way. Regardless of how you are feeling while you do something new, you will always have a great feeling that you have done it.
If you step outside of your comfort zone, you take on the challenge or learn something new, you are opening yourself up to added boost on your confidence for discovering that you are actually not so bad at something you never knew that you can do.
Believe that you have potential
Expect that your life can be happy and rewarding.
Worrying is not only a waste of your energy but it also tells your subconscious regarding your expectations in life. Rather than worrying on things which may never happen, believe in your potential so you will be able to focus your attention and efforts in making things you wanted in reality.
There is no need to be in denial that negative things might happen but when you have acknowledged your fears or those worst case scenarios, you will be able to place them aside and continue your pursuit of having a happy and rewarding future which you deserve.
Give your best on everything.
Tell yourself to do your best and that your best is always good enough.
If you set goals which are impossible to achieve, you are just leading yourself towards failure. On the other hand, if you promise yourself to always do your best then you are able to have more realistic and achievable expectations. Your self-worth will no longer depend on the outcome and you will feel good on who you are – no matter what you have or haven’t achieved.
If you really believe that your best is good enough then you could accept that you are just having a bad day or just feeling ordinary without being affected by it.